Saying Goodbye to My Pal

Stoli

March 5, 1997 - September 3, 2009

Stoli was my pal.  When I think of him I immediately picture his smile, which I call 'happy dog face' and feel the warmth of his joy in simply being. He had an unlimited capacity for bringing a smile to my face, and usually followed it up with a kiss.  A friend called Stoli the 'kissiest dog on earth.'  

I think of Stoli as a such a happy guy, and was happiest just being with us.  He was simultaneously independent and loved to explore... while also being close. His favorite place in the whole world was probably the beach and he particularly loved the beach at Crissy Field in the Presidio.  Stoli was a wader, not a swimmer, and for him the best part of Crissy Field was when the tide was going out and the stream connecting the bay to the lagoon was like a rapids... but only inches deep.  He would stand in the middle of the rapids looking upstream and you could tell he was reveling in the moment of 'shooting the rapids.' He had an unlimited capacity for creating 'happy Gary face.'

Stoli was an avid backpacker, and reveled in his role as 'Wilderness Trailblazer Dawg.'  On one of his early trips in the Trinity Alps he was faced with a log crossing of a stream.  He hesitated, being very unsure about scrambling across a log with rushing water underneath.  We showed him how to cross, and he finally did it.  He was so thrilled with his new skill that he went back and forth across the log while we laughed and watched him enjoying himself.  

Stoli had his own backpack and whenever his backpack came out of the closet, he got excited by the prospect of another trip.   He loved being 'Wilderness Trailblazer Dawg' and exploring new places unencumbered by a leash.  He hiked all over California, particularly the Trinity Alps, Desolation Wilderness, and the Lost Coast. One particularly magical moment was an early morning in the Trinity Alps.  Deer would visit our camp in the morning and we watched from a short distance away while Stoli laid on the ground and and watched the deer.  One of the deer was also curious about him and crept slowly toward him while Stoli remained motionless.  The deer got closer and closer and Stoli remained completely still until finally the deer and he were face to face and the deer touched his nose.  Stoli stayed completely still the entire time even though I knew he was so excited.  I imagined him thinking "this is so cool" over and over.

Stoli also loved his walks through the city, and became a recognized part of the fabric of the neighborhood.  People I barely knew would say hello to Stoli.  Stoli also had a clear mental map of our neighborhood business district, particularly which shops offered treats.  He had fans on the street who also would give him treats along the way.

His last year became significantly quieter.  He gradually lost his sight and had a harder time walking and with stairs.  Despite that, Stoli was inspirational in his resilience.  He never complained, he figured out the lay of the house and immediate neighborhood, and he took his time on the steps, taking one at a time, sometimes feeling them with his nose if he wasn't sure exactly where they were.  I often wondered how I would react in similar circumstances.  Stoli was always present in the moment.  He didn't seem to either mourn his more active past or worry about his future.

Brad and I had a long dialogue with Stoli's veterinarian about when we might know the 'time' had come. Dr. Bannow stated that we would know, and that moment would be our last gift to him.  The time came unexpectedly this week.  Unfortunately, I had just left to visit my parents in northern Michigan. Brad and I spoke about it as I was waiting between flights in Chicago and we agreed that the time would be the following afternoon. Brad took a couple days off from work to be with Stoli full time. When the time came, our friend Bill took the afternoon off and drove Brad and Stoli to the vet.

Stoli's last moments were spent licking Brad's hand as Brad stoked him with his other hand.  Stoli's death was peaceful and dignified.  At the same moment we lit a candle for Stoli in Michigan, watched a slideshow of his life and told stories about him.  He touched so many hearts in his path through life. Stoli loved everyone, always had a big smile, and our lives are brighter for his having been here.

Stoli quietly enjoying a wilderness sunset