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« Reflections.... and Gratitude | Main | The Next Phase: Having Elderly Parents (Part 1: Intro) »

June 18, 2013


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Bob McDiarmid

I was talking to someone else about this today - and i qouted Arnold from Torch Song Trilogy:

"....I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture - I can even pat myself on the back when necessary - all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life."

I also have siblings with anger management problems. and I used to carry it on myself. Do you know Don Ruiz's The Four Agreements? #2 of #4 is:

"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering."

I'm sorry your brother is such a hotbed of anger and unhappiness - but none of it has to do with you being gay, or your father. I suspect your brother is acting out - because others have happiness and he does not; and further doesn't see a way to accomplish either.

I used to be on the receiving end of a lot of hate mail and "anger bombs" from my siblings - until I realized (at 45) that honestly - I was letting their anger have a lot of power of me. I just let it go.

Gary Koehler

Thank you. It's ancient. It's his bed he built all by himself. I know that. It is still painful as one human seeing another create such an unnecessarily painful and difficult world for himself.

There is not much to do in this situation except let it go and express hope to the universe that maybe he can find a way to make life different.

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